Forgiveness and a Black Dog
by Lykaios Nyx
Summary: I If I had to, I’d live through an eternity of this pain, if only he’d smile at me again.” Sirius is begging for Forgiveness. SLASH! WARNINGCUSSING


DISCLAIMER: I don't know own Harry Potter...bleh, bleh, bleh, blah, blah, blah.

A/N: This was an idea from a reviewer named **Hiei is MYNE **from "Omniscient". I have been working on it for FOREVER and A MILLION years. LOL. Anyway...I finally feel that I should put it up. And I'm sure Captain Oz has read it at least 17 million times to tell me if it is alright. Anyway...ONWARD MY FRIENDS!

**Thanks to Captain Oz and Hiei is MYNE for all her help and for the idea, respectively.**

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"Why'd you do it Padfoot? You couldn't just leave it alone could you? You had to keep pushing at it and pushing at it, didn't you?"

"Don't **_you _**start talking to me about pushing things. You're **_hardly _**qualified to be giving **_me _**advice." Sirius ground out, hugging a large, black, stuffed dog to his chest.

There were tear trails starting at Sirius's eyes running down the length of his cheeks and onto the stuffed dog, which by the way smelled of chocolate and forest mixed with a bit of apple cider.

James shot Sirius an indignant look.

"Sirius, you **_like _**him! Hell, I'm pretty sure he likes you! Well, **_liked_** you. Who knows if he likes you now or not."

Sirius sighed.

"You've fucked things up! You've fucked things up so bad," James replied, shaking his head.

Sirius got up off of the bed, planting his feet on the floor and almost tripping over his haphazardly thrown robe. He still had the stuffed dog in his hands and he swung them and the dog around as he started to talk but stopped himself.

The door opened silently as Sirius began talking again, allowing the auburn haired boy, whom was the subject of the conversation, in.

"I know that James," his voice was quiet as he started and he was shaking slightly. "I FUCKING KNOW THAT I'VE FUCKED THINGS UP! AND I'M SO FUCKING SORRY! I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT HIM WITHOUT FUCKING CRYING!" He screamed, throwing his hands in the air, the stuffed dog thrashing about.

"You somewhat deserv---" James began.

Sirius whipped his head around, inky hair smacking him in the face.

"I FUCKING KNOW THAT! I CAN'T GO ONE DAMN DAY WITHOUT THINKING ON HOW MUCH I DESERVE THE PAIN I'VE BEEN THROUGH!" He cried, breaking down and hugging the dog close as he laid back down on Remus's bed. "I - If I had to, I'd live through an eternity of this pain, if only he'd smile at me again."

"Padfoot…"

"I'm so fucking sorry and pathetic. He wont even _look_ at me. It's been three and a half damn months!"

James glanced at Sirius, not sure on whether he should sympathize with his best friend -- ex-best friend? -- or still be pissed off at him.

"Every damn night I lay awake and watch him fall asleep. I want so damn bad to just climb in his bed and hold him until he stops crying and shivering. But I can't. He'd _kill_ me!"

James sighed and sat down on his bed, opposite of the one Sirius was laying on. Sirius buried his head in Remus's pillows as James got quiet.

"You're such a fucking prick Sirius. It's times like these that I really pay attention and realize that sometimes you live up to that last name of yours!"

"I know," Sirius replied, his voice muffled as he continued to cry and his tears gathered on the pillows.

James sat there silently while listening to Sirius cry. Soon, Sirius was almost asleep and the sniffles only came every few seconds. Remus finally decided to make his presence known and stepped into the light.

"What did **you **do to **my** dog?" he asked loudly, his voice seeming to echo in the stone room.

Sirius sat up quickly with a semi-sleepy look on his face, the dog hugged close to his chest. His inky hair was a mess, some of it stuck to his face because of the wetness of his tears and some of it was sticking up slightly.

"I'm sor--" Sirius started melancholically as he began to release the stuffed animal.

Remus crossed the room in a few long steps and sat down on his bed next to Sirius. Sirius had already let go of Remus's dog and laid it close to Remus's pale, scarred hand. James looked confused as Remus picked the fluffy, black dog up.

Remus glanced at the big blue eyes of the dog for a moment before stealing a glance at Sirius. Sirius ran a hand through his hair, fixing it and straightening it out nervously. Sirius lowered his head as he looked at the ground, his dark hair creating a veil around his face.

Remus handed the dog back to Sirius and scooted a bit closer to him. Sirius looked up at Remus quickly before glancing back at the stuffed dog in his hand.

"Once again," Remus said turning to James. "What did you do to my dog?"

James's jaw dropped as he realized that Remus was talking to him.

"I wasn't the one who was holding the damn thing!"

Remus glared at James before dignifying him with an answer.

"No. But you _were_ the one who was practically yelling at it!"

Sirius looked between the two, a somewhat bewildered look on his face.

James sighed loudly.

"Look Remus. I'm not exactly sure what the _hell_ you're talking about because I have **never** once yelled at that _damn_ stuffed dog in my entire life. Maybe you should get your head checked out and then get back to me, okay?"

"Not the stuffed dog you twit! In case you haven't noticed, I have a friend who is a dog Animagus. And I don't take kindly to people **yelling** at him! So maybe you need to get your head checked out and realize that, while I thank you for trying to talk some sense into Sirius, it's **_my_** job to do so."

Sirius let out a loud sob when he realized that **_he_** was the dog that Remus referred to. **_He_** was Remus's dog that was being pestered.

"What ever flies your damn broom!" He yelled, making it obvious that he thought Remus should still be mad at Sirius. "I'm going to go find Lily," He announced as he stormed out of the dormitory.

As soon as Remus heard the door close he turned towards Sirius.

"Siri…" He whispered as he thumbed the tears away from Sirius's pale cheeks.

"M-Moony," Sirius began, stuttering through another sob. "Just let me say that I am so sorry. I didn't mean to tell him that. It's just that Snivelly was being such a prat! Kept talking shit about you a-and I just got so pissed off about it. I guess I figured that we -- well _you_ -- could scare him into silence."

Sirius lowered his head, looking at the ground again. Remus sighed before brushing the inky black hair back from Sirius's face and tucking it behind a pale ear.

"I heard everything Paddy," Remus stated as he placed a finger under Sirius's chin and turned the dark haired boy's head so that he could look in his eyes.

The darkest blue of winter skies met champagne as they looked into each other's eyes.

"Rem," Sirius whispered as tears welled up in his eyes.

"I've missed you Siri," Remus said before he pressed a chaste kiss to Sirius's lips.

"Oh gods, Rem! I really didn't mean to! I just…"

A sob crept its way out of Sirius's throat, tears spilling out of his eyes.

Remus spent a long while whispering comforting words and brushing the tears off of Sirius's pale cheeks. Sirius broke down and wrapped his arms around Remus's middle, squeezing tightly. Remus just ran his hands through the silky hair that his chin was resting on. Every so often Sirius would whisper apologies, which Remus, in turn, would brush off.

Before long, Remus had coaxed Sirius into moving long enough to shed his shirt and pants, leaving him in a pair of boxers. As soon as Remus did the same, they laid back down in Remus's bed to sleep. Sirius curled up to Remus, his face buried in the scarred chest and his arms around the werewolf. Remus had his chin resting on Sirius's head and his arms around the younger boy.

"I am sorry Moony. Really."

Drawing the curtains, Remus whispered to Sirius.

"I forgive you."

"I love you Remus," Sirius said smiling as he snuggled up closer to Remus's chest and gave the scarred torso a tight squeeze.

"I love you too."

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Hope that the ending was good enough for you all. Drop me a review! 


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